Three of the Most Ridiculous Criminal Defenses of All Time

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Some criminal defense attorneys will try just about anything to get their clients’ charges dropped. Their attempts can range from the mild — “Was my client really at fault here?” — to technical — “What is considered domestic violence, anyways? Is that what my client did?” — to the downright preposterous.

Here are a few of the strangest criminal defense cases of all time.

Sorry I Was Speeding, My Second Wife Was Expecting Me Earlier.

Mohammed Anwar, a Muslim restaurant owner, nearly lost his license as a result of speeding. The reason he got to keep it? His criminal defense lawyer argued that losing his license would make it difficult to commute between his two wives and fulfill his husbandly duties, who lived half an hour away from each other. Even weirder is that there are tons of other successful criminal defense cases that have gotten defendants off the hook from speeding.

I Couldn’t Have Done That. My Breasts Are Too Big.

Though most strange criminal defense cases offer some bizarre excuse, this particular one actually makes a lot of sense. A man alleged Serena Kozakura, a Japanese pin-up model, of kicking a hole in his door, crawling through it, and confronting him about his activities with other women. Kozakura successfully argued that she could not have physically fit through the hole, because her breasts were too large.

I Did It Because Rap Music Hypnotized Me.

There are tons of criminal defense cases out there that claim the defendant was either insane or temporarily insane, but this is either the only one (or one of the only criminal defense cases) that claims it was brought on by rap music. Apparently, two teens accused of murder were “temporarily hypnotized” by a combination of marijuana, alcohol, and Geto Boys music.

A lawyer for criminal defense will do most anything to get their clients’ charges dropped or at least reduced, as these criminal defense cases show. If you know of any other crazy criminal defense cases out there, feel free to share in the comments. Find more on this here.

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