• When You Need a Divorce Mediator

    Marriage is one of the world’s oldest and most universal institutions, traditionally intended to create a reproducing household of a man and woman. This certainly continues today, and some parts of the world have also recognized same-sex marriage as legal (same-sex households are often known for adopting children). Meanwhile, divorce, or the legal end of a marriage, is also fairly common today. A spouse may decide that their marriage must end, and they will turn to divorce attorneys or lawyers at a local divorce law firm for help when they file the divorce papers. There are multiple reasons why a person may seek a divorce, and they can rely on help such as lawyers. In other cases, having a divorce mediated is preferable, and having a divorce mediated may prove more cost effective and private than going through a court.

    Why Divorce Happens

    Divorce mediation or divorce lawyers may be called upon when a divorce is starting, but why might this be? Marriage and divorce in the United States are widely studied and tracked, and the numbers show a whole list of typical reasons. The top reason is infidelity, when one spouse is unfaithful to the other, and is caught somehow. The emotional trauma of finding out about an affair may often prompt a spouse to file for divorce, of marriage counseling does not work out. Many spouses attempt to fix their marriage with counseling, which often produces good results. But if that does not work, divorce may come next.

    Divorce may also happen due to abuse or substance use in the household. A spouse may be likely to file for divorce if their other spouse is violent, verbally abusive, or sexually abusive toward other members of the household, and that other partner’s behavior may be spurred by drugs or alcohol. Substance abuse often changes the user’s personality and behavior, and may fuel anger, violence, or more. And in any case, drug or alcohol abuse puts a huge financial strain on the household, which may necessitate a divorce.

    Not all divorces are so dramatic, though. Some are more quiet and straightforward affairs, and having a divorce mediated may be done in this case. Some spouses realize that they simply have no compatibility, often due to different lifestyles or spending habits. Such divorces may or may not have a lot of assets or children involved, and having a divorce mediated is most often done when there are fewer assets to fight over. Bigger divorces usually call for divorce lawyers.

    Handling the Divorce

    When a spouse files for divorce, they may either choose having a divorce mediated, or turning to law firms for an attorney’s help. If the household has a lot of assets to negotiate for, or under-18 children, it is likely that lawyers and child custody lawyers will get involved, and negotiate on behalf of their respective clients. If abuse is taking place in the household, the divorcing spouse may relocate somewhere private and take their children with them, interacting with their spouse only through their lawyer. These lawyers may debate over ownership and division of bank accounts and money, cars and recreational vehicles, houses or vacation homes, a privately owned business, and of course, custody of children. Child custody is often hotly contested and may involve child custody lawyers, and while nothing can be guaranteed here, a divorcing parent who has a stable income and no drug or alcohol abuse problems may be more likely to win custody. Children aged 12 and up may consult the judge privately about their living situation preferences.

    Having a Divorce Mediated

    If a divorce has fewer assets to fight over, the two spouses may handle most of the negotiation themselves. In this case, having a divorce mediated can be helpful, and mediator services tend to be much more private than a divorce court and often cost less, too. These mediators act as neutral third parties, and their role is to draw out productive and fair ideas from each spouse during negotiations. That, and ensure that both spouses maintain clear and effective communication during the divorce to keep the process moving smoothly and fairly. These mediators will not actually offer their own advice or opinions unless they are asked, however.